here is where I'll be

I'm tumbling again: http://teacupsofdaffodils.tumblr.com/

forgive me, first love.

"strangers into lovers, and enemies to brothers."

"I don't think you're ever a hundred percent in the room."

"well you and I had something beautiful but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last."

"look outside at the raincoats coming, say oh."

"and I am downloaded daily."

"and you live in the future, it's here, it's bright, it's now."

"only trouble is, I'm dreaming my life away."

"all that I know is I'm breathing, now."

"i've gone away, don't call me don't write."

"somdays aren't yours at all."

"what if your eyes, close before mine?"

"cause I know I'm a mess he don't want to clean up."

"the sun had painted patterns on your face."

"you are the promised kiss of springtime."

"I haven't been dreaming of you for years."

"and nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

"and winter just wasn't my season."

"that this was not your dream, but you always believed in me."

"now i'm fighting words I never thought I'd say."

"our lives are made in these small hours."

"angel you sing about beautiful things, and all I want to do is believe."

"she who dares to stand where I stood."

"and I don't know if I could stand another's hands upon you."

"and I want, and I want, and I want it, ohhh."

"the discovery of the unknown is something to tell the folks back home."

sometimes there are perfect photos that say it all

[my grandpa]

city of black and white

but I understood perfectly

"There'll be bluebells in there before long--you can see the shoots now," I told him.

He stood staring into the wood for a minute, then said: "What is it about the English countryside--why is the beauty so much more than visual? Why does it touch one so?"

He sounded faintly sad. Perhaps he finds beauty saddening--I do myself sometimes. Once when I was quite little I asked father why this was and he explained that it was due to our knowledge of beauty's evanescence, which reminds us that we ourselves shall die. Then he said I was probably too young to understand him; but I understood perfectly.

-- from I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith.

she hid her treasures somewhere far far far far away

how smart am I?

... So smart I was wondering why nobody commented anymore and then realized that I had set up comment moderation. DU-UH. Ahem. Photo post soon. :)

things that are making me happy

 [first Christmas lights of the season]

-Mini candy canes from Target. Perfect amount of mint and sweetness.

-This green tea decaf peppermint/vanilla tea from Trader Joe's. Delightful.

-Being old enough to have my dad ask me if I want one shot or two, and not hearing a lecture when I say two.

-Taking photographs in the snow. Pictures to come.

-Thanksgiving break. it may not be my favorite holiday, but the time off from school is blessed.

-Working on my final essay to my dream school.

-Crying and then moving on when the stress is overwhelming.

-Making a new pandora account because I am completely addicted and go over my hours on just one account.

-Toy Story 3 movie nights with my best friends.

-Trying new recipes from this bakery's cookbook. I've made soup and pies in the past two days.

-The 30 day photo challenge on Facebook because it's made me look back through all my old
photographs and brought around a lot of lovely memories. Even the hard ones.

-My birthday in six days. Though it's the official "end" of my childhood, I don't feel that way at all. I always imagined it would be really scary to reach this point in my life. It's not. It feels natural and like I've been working towards this for a long time.

-The prospects of buying a digital SLR. Thrilling!

-Peppermint mochas with friends. (Yes, I suppose coffee made it on here twice... I should look into honing down this addiction a bit.)

-The holiday season. We're getting our tree today, hopefully.

-Receiving the order forms for cap and gowns, and senior sweatshirts. Now that makes me officially feel like a senior.

-Early birthday presents.

when summer feels so long away

[paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower]

summer in the city
where we walked down the rues and river banks
cracked steps, cigarette butts, stains of the years
you've been here before, haven't you?


every building looks so magnificent it's ordinary
we waited for rain that would never come.


that time where we ordered sandwiches
and they gave me the wrong one
we tried to explain in french
(that didn't quite work)

so we sat and watched the pigeons as night washed the day away.

two down, one to go.

After several several several years of preparation, it is down to this. Finally. I submitted two applications today and I simply feel relief. Too much though, too many words, and I need a reprieve from myself. I have one more application to go and then I am done. And that-- that feels good.